Groceries

Today was the first day I walked the world as a cancer patient. For me, the hair has been gone for a week and I’ve been to work and the post office and even the coffee shop, and I haven’t felt awkward at all. Comments on my hat, a little more attention, but not too odd. Today something was different, possibly wearing a turban instead of a fancy hat.

You read/hear that people will be very kind to you at this time. That is true.

I met a friend at the local coffee shop for lunch. The place was packed and I knew several people. But two of them, who I went up and said hello to, didn’t recognize me. One was a quite elderly woman who I haven’t seen for a year, and she knew my “circumstance” and so lit up when I told her who I was. The other was a woman I just met three weeks ago, but I look different now.

At the post office, what had maybe been unclear on Friday was quite clear today. I mail books there for work and for myself all the time. I dug out some change and was a penny short. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “Close enough.” I have never heard those words at the post office.

But the grocery store was when it happened. I’ve been looking for Dee Dee, the cashier I know best, to tell her. But she’s been gone a few weeks. Today the cashier was an older, retired man who I’ve also seen many times. When he saw me he did a double take, and then closed in. “How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m OK,” I said. “It’s going OK. The chemo.” I know what he is asking, but what do I say?

“May I ask, what kind of cancer?” he asked.

“Ovarian,” I said. “Did someone in your family have cancer?”

“My wife had stage 4 cancer twice,” he said.

“How far apart?”

“First ten years ago, then five years later.” While he rang up my groceries he told me her story, about the genetic testing, her treatments. We said how good CentraCare is. The baggers bagged and people joined the line with their groceries.

He handed me my receipt and took my hand. “Peace be with her,” he said. “Peace, Jesus, peace, and strength.” It was a lovely prayer. Before he let go my hand he said, “I look forward to seeing you again soon.”