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I still like what I see in the mirror. Being bald hasn’t bothered me, though it’s always surprising.

Because I never properly shaved my head, I have funny little silver hairs that stick up over much of my scalp. They stir a bit in the breeze I make when walking.

My friend S. Dolores Schuh very kindly shared a story with me from her battle with cancer 27 years ago. She had a position parallel to my current position providing hospitality to resident scholars at the Collegeville Institute for Ecumenical and Cultural Research at Saint John’s Abbey and University. That scholar program is how I first came to Saint John’s, following in Kathleen Norris’s footsteps with a desire to get back to the Midwest, preferably near a Benedictine monastery, and finish a memoir.

Sister Dolores was lucky to have Father Daniel Durken as her good friend to companion her through her cancer. She only was able to tolerate a few chemotherapy treatments, so her hair never fully fell out. Fr. Daniel called her “fuzzy duck.” With my little wisps of hair, many times I look in the mirror and see a “fuzzy duck.” It is easy to hear Fr. Daniel, my good friend and neighbor in the editorial offices at Liturgical Press, saying that with his eyes crinkled up in a smile.

But a few weeks ago I looked in the mirror and saw Sigourney Weaver. Riley, to be exact. And that sense persisted, maybe a darker, stripped down, warrior. Someone with serious business to do. Killing the alien. Staying alive. Boy did I like seeing Sigourney Weaver in there.

It made me think of all the bald women roles. If you Google “bald stars” or “bald celebrities” you’ll get a big bunch of men. No stigma. If you Google the same for women you’ll get a bunch of women who aren’t actually bald but have “buzz cuts.” Google “bald women starring roles” you’ll get a surprising number. I had thought of Natalie Portman in V is for Vendetta and of Demi Moore in G.I. Jane. but not of Charlize Theron in Mad Max. I missed the whole Cynthia Nixon Wit head shaving. The articles linked to these women note their brave choice to go bald for a role.

Sigourney is my new FB “profile photo.” My avatar. It surprises me to see her there. It won’t last long. It’s a softer Sigourney I sometimes glimpse in the bathroom mirror.

My niece turned me on to an emoji app where you can make your own avatar: bitmoji. She has been using it and sending wonderful messages. Her avatar has a tightly pulled back ponytail that makes her look somewhat androgynous from the front.

Composing my own, I gave her short hair, and then on one of the last options, I found a turban among the hats. I was so excited. I’m having great fun adding her to messages and texts.

I’ve also continued to enjoy playing with tying headscarves, though I have been less than successful. I perked up at an episode of Black-ish, my favorite sit-com, when, in a very ordinary scene with the four kids talking in the twins’ bedroom, older daughter Zooey and younger daughter Diane sit off on one bed and Zooey ties a headscarf on Diane’s head. It’s like any older sister/younger sister doing each other’s hair– but it’s also very different. The head scarf looks awesome and the action is done matter-of-factly and without comment.

On Monday I watched some youtube videos about headscarf tying. Many of these videos are gorgeous fashion shoots with R&B music and elaborate styles. Jessica Pettway is a master: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDTD8Q7xEys. I can only do #4.

But my favorite video was from nenonatural.com. You have to watch it. Delilla of “Hug My Hair” does the head scarf tutorial and her instructions are at the right pace and very detailed. I like the triangle tie and can do a modified one where the triangle is twisted and tucked in back. I also like the one that has a thick and thin twist and has a tail (in the photo). I tried doing this for a trip to the airport on Monday, but it fell apart by the time I got there– thank goodness I had thrown a pre-tied turban in the car!

I’ll keep working on it. I have months of baldness to go…I need a few thinner scarves (time to go back to the Somali shop). Pretty sure I’ll nail it. Delilla and the host Heather’s conversation is priceless– and you won’t believe what happens when they hand the host her baby (skip to 9:45).

Once I got to the airport, I had some wait time before my sister arrived, so I went to IKEA. It was Memorial Day and the store was not crowded, but there was beautiful ethnic diversity. There were several groups of South Asian families in brightly colored, summery khurtas (tunics), scarves and pants. There was also amazing headscarf watching with a variety of East African women ranging from sleek and simple to very colorful, and color-coordinated, scarves. It was so inspiring. Here’s to the normalization of headscarves as a beautiful way to wear your hair. And baldness. And boldness. And avatars of all kinds.