Kathy sowing ground cover
My sister came to help me this week, during a challenging round of chemotherapy. Since the beginning I’ve been doing everything possible to stay healthy for a week-long conference at St. Mary’s College in South Bend, where I’m the afternoon speaker. At first I thought we might delay treatment by a week so I could go, but my doctor’s plan was to do an entire round in one week (usually a 3-week process) and then give me two weeks off. That was a very daunting prospect, so I arranged to have my sister here just in case things turned ugly in terms of side effects.
I am pleased to report on this side of things that it did not turn ugly. It was intense, and I had some minor bone pain in my legs, serious neuropathy, and felt completely poisoned/metallic for three days instead of two, but I kept eating and sleeping and every day was a significant improvement. This week I have some therapies planned for detoxing and skin support, and on Thursday I will get a second blood transfusion to bring my red blood cell count up (I do not want to think about what this treatment did to my blood count numbers, but I am expecting significant anemia fatigue this week). And I will be good for the week in South Bend!
Meanwhile, my sister Kathy cleaned my house better than it has ever been cleaned before, kept us fed, and even better, we got the rest of the garden in. By which I mean, she helped set up the second side of the irrigation (and we put it on a 5-outlet system so there will be no moving of hoses at all, just flipping switches), plant winter squash in the raised beds, and she hoed the potato patch (where I’m not planting beans or onions) and seeded it in ground cover.
Kathy was insistent that the whole garden go in. A friend of hers back in Seattle, a cancer survivor, had impressed on her the importance of my continuing to do what brings me joy. The garden. And so she had arrived with a mission. And I wondered if it really gave me that much joy. Better not to push it, right? Though I know that winter squash are so easy and will fight off weeds on their own– and how ready I will be to cook them come October!
And it is true that it feels like a miracle (and really it does every year) now that the world is lush and green, early June! after a hard freeze May 14, to be eating greens and asparagus and now radishes from the garden every day. How did that happen? What joy! There is food out there! There is lettuce and there are peas growing up the fence…
Steve’s daughter Julia will hill the potatoes this week and help with the weeding. She’s arrived on the heels of my sister’s departure with a mission, too. “Can’t wait to garden!” she said.
And yet, all these things my sister did while she was here– I have to say they were nothing to the cultivation of our relationship. Our visits and talks were what were most nourishing and important for both of us. Our paths diverged quite far in adulthood, and this time has been a tremendous gift, as we’ve been able to share with each other our stories as adults for the first time. I have such serious “chemo brain” part of the week that much of this is swimming or soupy, part of even that relationship work is surreal. Kathy remarked on the richness of the metaphor of the prairie outside my living room and bedroom windows– what was burned black and now is incredibly lush and green. A good parallel to treatment. And. Here it is June 5. Garden in. Food. Sister.
Another parallel, Susan. While I was recovering from the surgery, the chemo and the radiation in 1989, my sister, four years my senior, came for a week and did just about what Kathy did for you – except that I didn’t have a garden at that time so she planted a few petunias by my patio. But we did have the good visits that drew us closer than we had ever been in adulthood. For years we seldom chatted by phone or corresponded by mail (no email back then) so I got to know Helen better in that one week than I did in the previous fifty years. It was beautiful.
Susan, you are an amazing person.
I am so excited that you sound like you will be well enough to come to Saint Mary’s next week! I’m so anxious to meet you and hear all you have to share with us!
Oh Sara, I will definitely be there! Presentations ready and so excited– the images from “The Saint John’s Bible” work so well with S. Sandra’s book! I can’t wait for the afternoon conversations (and the morning lectures) and being with all you beautiful women in that beautiful place!
Thank you, Dolores! Kathy will be back in the fall for surgery recovery duty– and I’m looking so forward to that time when I will also have my full brain back (hopefully) and be moving slow but much more able to interact fully.
Hi Susan. What answers to prayer! Loved reading your blog and I’m glad you and Kathy had such a nice visit. God is good!!! My husband and I went over to your mom and dad’s a few weeks ago and before we left we made a circle arm in arm and prayed for you. 😉 lots of love coming to you from Illinois.
Big Hugs,
Tracy DeGraaf
(Also cancer survivor!)
I am certainly a bit teary eyed as I read your blog…God has an amazing way of bringing HIS children into HIS arms. Isn’t it interesting that a garden is mentioned again? I continue to PRAY, Susan. CJ
Thank you, Tracy! Yes, there are so many blessings. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts. I definitely feel the support from that church and others in Frankfort, IL!
Yes! And all my preparation for the St. Mary’s conference next week has been on the Resurrection of the Body of Christ in John’s gospel– a very interesting topic as I face these physical challenges and engage with the garden and God’s children!
Sisterhood and gardening, a potential book no doubt. The garden looks terrific. I am SO THRILLED that you are going to South Bend. I did a fair amount of photography work for Notre Dame Magazine in my younger days. I might have done some work for Saint Mary’s too, but no so certain. May be they used my images in their publications. I do hope you will be able to document your visit and give us a short version. Wishing you the best Sister! Cheers! You look terrific with a “turban” on your head…
I am still digging out of my poisonous fog, but looking forward to it. And my blood numbers today were all in normal range (unusual at any time during this journey) so I’m feeling the strength of more immunity and platelets! (Though no cafeteria for me at least for the first few days…)