first day of chemo first time around, March 2016. Trusty blue flannel shirt.
Today was my first day of chemo to treat a recurrence of Stage IV ovarian cancer. We first saw signs of a recurrence back in March, when a small nodule and “signs of additional nodularity” appeared between the lobes of my right lung. In the 10 months since, the cancer has remained in my right lung, but only since Thanksgiving did it become uncomfortable to the point I decided it was time to treat. I was getting more tired, too, and it was just bothering me.
Time to treat. I had a 25-month remission, time between treatments, which is considered a very successful outcome. We knew the lung would be the trickiest place to eradicate it, as there was no way to operate on the lung during the debulking surgery, and small cells in the fluid could bring it back.
I’ve been “getting ready” since Thanksgiving. Continued to work out and build strength, though by the end the workouts were more walking than weights. But I’ve been trying to remember, too: What do I eat during treatment? What more can I do to promote health through it? But as much as I tried to remember (and I know I left lists for myself somewhere) I didn’t start remembering until today.
Oh yeah, I get steroid in my pretreats (now is regularly given to help with nausea) which helps me have energy that day and the day afterward. I can do a walk after the chemo (which supposedly helps).
Oh yeah, I need to get wipes for the toilet seat and everyone has to flush every time because of immunity compromised and chemo flushing out of my system.
And there’s “chemo laundry,” keeping those clothes from 48 hours separate to launder.
Oh, wow, my sinuses have crashed quickly– need that saline gel nasal spray.
I laugh at myself, thinking this is so much like having a second child. Fewer pictures will be taken. Not as much attention to protection from germs– I’ll try, though! (Am I supposed to use deodorant? Is there something about the toothpaste tube and how to dispense to avoid cross contamination?)
Before treatment started, I mostly tried to reassure myself that my life didn’t shut down that first time, which was an even harsher regimen than this treatment. I kept working. I saw people. I had good days and bad days. Why wouldn’t it be the same this time? Also, no hair loss. People out there in the world wouldn’t even know unless I told them.
Today was a surprisingly good day. After the chemo, I went on a “brisk walk,” part of a new regimen I’m trying that includes a bone broth fast the day (or two) before and the brisk walk right after chemo for 30-45 minutes. The steroids help with that part. I came in and cooked and cleaned up and did some online work. I stopped when the headache hit, and rested.
The headache. Not sure I remember that. And something else is new– trying CBD oil for pain and to help with sleep, along with melatonin and Tylenol when necessary.
And here we go. I also more or less forgot what I wear and take to chemo. But the blue flannel shirt was still there (easier to access the port) and a bottle of water, my laptop, my phone. No blanket like my first, first time– they have warm blankets at the Cancer Center, but also my room was SO warm! The blankets, and the hats, stay home, to keep me warm and comforted.
xoxo
Precious Susan, your words touch my heart! You are in my prayers as you move forward with more treatments.
Blessings,
Colleen
Holding you in the heart of prayer, dear Susan, as you begin this round. Praying for ‘whatever you need most’ in the moment. A pilgrimage prayer, as you do continue on a pilgrimage in your own way: Be Safe and Well. Peace. Love. Courage.
Rhanks for sharing your journey, Susan. I so admire you, and wish you well.
Dear Susan,
Wishing you courage which you have, inner strength which you have, spiritual light which you have, sense of humor which you always have had. So just wishing you the best of everything.
jean-claude
PS: Surely the toothpaste tube problem can easily be solved by buying two: Yours and his! 🙂
Thank you for letting us walk with you. Praying for healing, peace, hope. God bless you, my dear.
xoxo
Thank you, Susan, for sharing this phase of your life journey and the medical events. I pray for your highest good and give thanks for your courage and inner strength.
Know of my prayers.
I do so admire your courage, patience, determination, Susan. I know I couldn’t have done that if I had to go a second round. Fortunately, I’ve been cancer free now, as of January 12, for thirty years. Yes, I count my blessings and will always remember my support groups that got me through it all. You have many support groups and I’m sure you’ll get through this recurrence. Blessings.
Yes, we already have that. I think it’s more not recontaminating myself after the 48 hours once it’s out of my system… put it on your finger then on the brush!
Thank you so much for sharing this. The analogy of subsequent pregnancies is so true— while you’re in it, you think you’ll never forget, but, then you do.
Thinking good thoughts for you, Susan.
Thank you for sharing. For me it’s been 5 years since surgery, hysterectomy, etc. etc. and more etc. I am now 3 1/2 years NED. I send NED to you – breathe it in girl! Smiles of appreciation for you willingness to share.
My flannel shirt is pink. XXXOOO
I’m sorry for recurrence. When I completed 23 was of chemo, I was enjoying the Dance of Joy & was told, “You know it’s going to come back.” Don’t know when but it will come back. Th a nk you for honest sharing what it feels like to begin the journey again. It’s not less scarey. Put one foot in front of the other & move. Thank you for your sharing your journey. All the best to you
Love you Susan and Praying for success in treatment
You are so POSITIVE I feel uplifted .
Sending a hug and prayers to you!
Obviously I did NOT understand what was involved! Thank you for straightening me out. Knowing also that you will nail down the proper strategy to deal with problem.