Advice for Self-Isolating

With the US in an ever-expanding state of quarantine, I’m interested to see how people are setting up, settling in, and handling being at home for long periods of time. And I have to tell you, as someone who has been about this for quite a while now, I see people making some rookie mistakes.

I’ve been in a state of rolling quarantines for the past four years, ever since my diagnosis and treatment for cancer began. There are times that the chemo makes me just plain sick. There are other times when I am immunocompromised, my white blood cell counts so low that eating out and going to the movie theater are not recommended. for the past three years, I’ve worked from home. I’m pretty much a professional at hunkering down. And for those of you just entering this surreal world, I have three pieces of advice.

One

First, no television during the day. In my illness, people have constantly recommended things to binge watch from streaming services. Now those recommendations are all over social media, as people seem to be settling in to catch up on their binge-watching. That’s not a good idea. Unless you normally watch television during the day, spending hours in front of the television can be really depressing. I mean, I love movies and have a subscription to the Criterion Channel. I could do an advanced seminar on film and spend days going down the many rabbit holes there. But I know better. Watching movies is for the evening, when one is too tired to do anything else and in need of some cultural stimulation. For those of you who are used to going out to work, and now are home, this is not a series of sick days. You are not sick. No lying around watching television all day.

Two

Set realistic expectations. For example, I have several times over these years committed to becoming a better housekeeper. Here I am, with time and space to clean. I can take on a different task or different room each day. There is no good excuse for this house not being spic and span. Except that I hate housecleaning, really and truly. I am here to tell you that there is no quicker way to turn your house into a prison than to determine to do something you are definitely not going to do and then beating yourself up about it. I will do what I can. I will try not to feel too guilty about what I don’t do. I have other strengths. I love to cook.

Three

This is a variation on number two. The other thing I’ve done many times is commit to a routine. I will get up early and take a shower, be ready to go in my chair, dressed and breakfasted, by 9 a.m. For a number of reasons, that doesn’t happen. First, I’ve shifted to only showering every other day, mostly because my skin is impacted by the current chemo drug and very sensitive. Also, I don’t have to. And I’ve found I like to sit in my chair with a cup of coffee reading and writing and editing until almost noon. That’s OK.

A long time ago, a friend introduced me to the concept of “pajama day.” She was a big proponent and practitioner. There are rules for pajama day, namely: take a bath and put on fresh, clean pajamas. Do whatever you want, but preferably watch movies or read books, and drink tea. Have lots of snacks available. Take a nap.

Pajama Day is a very specific kind of mental health day. People, this is not pajama week. If you take a shower or bath, put on clothes. Even if not, put on clothes, though they don’t have to be nice– you’re not going anywhere. I personally invested recently in 4 pair of deluxe pajama pants in bright colors, two with pockets, that I can wear around the house. I wear them to clean, to plant, to cook and bake, to read, to paint, to write. They are basically indoor pants, not an invitation to lie around eating bon bons.

The fact is, this pandemic time is likely to be a more socially connected time for me than others. For example, my writing group, which I usually do not feel well enough to travel to the Twin Cities for, is going to meet via zoom call. Other groups are organizing “check-ins,” including my office, where our weekly communications zoom call is likely to be attended by more people as we feel the need for interaction. The quality, and level, of social media interaction suggests people want to use those tools to fight isolation. Welcome.

I have one more piece of advice, this time positive. Get outside. Here in Minnesota it is still very cold. That just means we need to bundle up when we go outside walking. Social distance, yes, but don’t be afraid to go outside. Breathe. Walk. Ride your bike. Fly a kite. Blow bubbles. Garden.

You know all those post-apocalyptic films where people are just inside in cubicles (when they’re not flying around in their cars through urban tunnel systems trying to avoid robot armed forces)? I always wondered what caused that transition. A series of deadly pandemics working their way through the world’s population could definitely be one factor. Let’s not get too comfortable with life via zoom calls and Facebook. Let’s keep going outside, and cultivate the outside world with the turning of the seasons. This will be over, though it will probably take longer than a few weeks. We will learn how to do it. Let’s have a good summer.