Category Archives: cancer

The Big Party

The morning I received the diagnosis, I asked about two events I had planned. One was a trip to Chicago April 13-17 to be a visiting poet at Joliet Junior College, where I used to teach, and to have a “book … Continue reading

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Telling

One of the interesting things about the cancer is figuring out the “need to tell.” Who do I need to tell? Who do I want to tell? Knowing my hair was about to fall out made me feel the need … Continue reading

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Good Girls

Remember the Billy Joel song “Only the Good Die Young?” I thought that song was a total scandal. How could he say what I somewhere deep thought was true– what scared me most? But it wasn’t there because of Catholicism. I … Continue reading

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Living with the Painting

And at night, a snowy painting. I set up my mister with essential oils on the same desk as the painting. It glows at night and illumines the painting. And there is my home. The detail of the painting is … Continue reading

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Sister

I have been truly blessed to have my sister Kathy with me this week, from Monday until today. We were close as kids, but have spent very little time together over the past 20 years. She’s been in Washington State … Continue reading

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The Mental Game

Cancer and chemotherapy are as much a mental game as a physical one. That might be stating the obvious. To me, though, it’s been endlessly revealing. There is the mental game of: “How did I get this? and Could we … Continue reading

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Groceries

Today was the first day I walked the world as a cancer patient. For me, the hair has been gone for a week and I’ve been to work and the post office and even the coffee shop, and I haven’t … Continue reading

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Freeze and Thaw

It’s maple syrup season here in Central Minnesota. The monks at Saint John’s Abbey have a very large operation, and it’s been a good year. The first year I lived here, I participated actively in the operation, tapping trees, harvesting … Continue reading

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Talismans

It’s certainly human nature, when much is out of one’s control, to become superstitious. Facing cancer, I’m surprised and also not surprised by my level of superstition– or maybe closer to what Joan Didion calls “magical thinking.” For example, a … Continue reading

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…and the Beautiful Cut Hair

My mother sent me this photo and a packet of childhood photos. Wasn’t I a beautiful bald baby? I was bald for a long time. And now I will be bald again. I’m actually not that put out by it. … Continue reading

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